Musings on Willow......

Dear Diary,

I just finished watching Willow for the first time. I got it from Wal-mart last night before they closed. The night crew knows me and doesn’t care that I don’t wear shirts and in return I don’t turn into a demon and eat their souls. Although I almost did it anyway because they tried to charge me 9.99 instead of the advertised 6.99 and all hell almost broke loose. I let them know that hell’s fury was not about to be over charged. Plus I brought the advertisement in with me. So basically the whole world was pretty lucky I brought the advertisement.

After I got back home I lit all the candles in the theatre room for the right ambiance for…..my life and I grabbed some snacks. I “conjured” up some blood sausage with cheese crackers and some devils food cake. I started a quick seance so I wouldn’t have to watch the movie alone, but was unable to get a hold of any ghosties.

So I pigged out alone with a sword slashingly magical time. I have never been so disappointed. This bad ass chick named Badmorda was trying to kill this baby and I couldn’t help but thinking how awesome that was. First off her name is almost as cool as mine and she’s killing babies! Sooooo jealous. Then she has this hot daughter that’s handy with the steal and dumbass Val Kilmer turns her good. What a god damn waste. The perfect woman with awesome mom, ruined. If I was in this movie I would have killed stupid ass Mad Mardigan, ate all the brownies, and actually I would have just ate everyone who didn’t agree with me after Badmorda turned everyone into pigs for me. Enough bacon to last from here to eternity, which is good because once that whole soul selling this gets finalized that’s about how long I’m supposed to live. Anyways the movie ends bad of course with no dead babies and Sorsha helping kill her mom. Although I think that Badmorda killed her self and kinda disappeared into a rising mist of blood. Again, Sooooo Jealous. That’s how I would want to go out, if I did die. I totally thought of that before this movie. Form of blood mist. I wrote a song about a long time ago, but the band kinda ran out of chords to play so…….it never got recorded.

After that horrible movie I had to tell someone about and since I couldnt find any friends during the seiance that leaves you! Anyways I have to go right now, I have new evil project I am working on and I have barely started so I don’t want to start telling anyone till I am atleast half way done because if I never finish it I’ll feel like a big quitter. Plus I’ve over hyped some of my other evil projects in the past and I feel a recurring pattern happening.

Danzig. (loves Sorsha)