Vagina Dentata

Dear Diary,

Last night I went to the movies by myself, again. It's not as bad as you might think. I usually sit behind the loudest people and laugh along at all their jokes. Most of the time that tends to make them uncomfortable and stop being so loud, but last night that didn't happen. They just kept right on making jokes through the whole movie, and I laughed and laughed. I bet some people in the back thought I was in their group and just wanted to sit behind them so I could hear all of them better.

The movie was called Teeth. It was about a girl with teeth in her vagina! I was in the mood for a horror flick and I have already seen the original EYE movie and besides, this is more of an indie movie so I get more street cred. So I go to watch this movie about a toothed vagina and I didn't see one vagina through the whole movie! I saw about 3 dicks, and they were all mangled. If there was ever a movie more misrepresented I've never seen it.

Now, if they would have just made a movie starring a deranged psycho woman with a hungry vagina lopping off peni left and right, that would have been way awesome. She doesn't need a reason, just penis manglation without a cause would have been the ulitmate horror. Nope, instead it just reminds of that movie I spit on your grave, before the woman gets to go on a man-killing rampage the men have to rape her so that it's justified. Bring on the crazy vagina killing I say. All the dudes in this movie had it coming--thats not evil--and thats not the Danzig way. Did anybody ask me what I thought before this movie was made? No!

Quotable quotes from Teeth "I haven't jerked off since Easter!" and "Do you want a bit to eat?" "No I already ate."



I spit on your grave.




Teeth